It’s now winter. The cold pang at your fingers
reminds you that you need to hurry. Get inside.
Get warm. Get comfortable. Get away from the
white wasteland that has long since lost it’s
desire and lustre. To you, its become just
something you have to wade through; some obstacle
that you need to push out of the way.
It’s been too long that you’ve been outside, and
you know that the temperature can only be getting
lower; the storm getting worse with every chilled
breath.
Your boots get water in them. You grimace at the
unpleasant feeling. But you keep trudging on,
that warm light of the house up ahead is teasing
you, taunting you. A stinging wind blows by, and
your coat billows out, letting cold air in. That
saying “chilled to the bone” seems relevant now.
Ice trips you up, your toes tingle and slip into
a numbness; as do your fingers. Gloves don’t work
in such low temperatures.
The porch light flickers on. Suddenly you feel
welcomed. Relieved. Safe. The winds seem to die
down as you carefully step up the icy porch stairs.
The door opens and you are greeted by a smile and
an offering of tea and a warm bed.
On the other side of the door, the winds again
pick up, and frost grips the windows.
Snow blinds your vision to the outside.
You begin to feel your toes against the plush
comforter, and the mug of earl grey is easier to
grasp.
But you can still see the anger of the blizzard
outside.
This is what a panic attack is to me.
It’s a harrowing experience that to some may seem
insignificant, but to me, its a journey. In mind,
and in body. I feel in danger, I feel so insecure.
I struggle to breath, and focus. I start to spiral.
I start to fail.
But I know there is a light. I know this will end.
And sometimes it’s exhausting to get there. I
look forward to that smile and that mug of tea.
For me, that is talking to my friends here online.
It’s drawing. It’s just taking the time to relax.
Next time someone says they are having an anxiety
attack, or a panic attack… don’t take it lightly.
Ask what you can do to make them feel comfortable.
Check up on them. Listen.
It’s the best thing you can do for someone who is
fighting off the monsters in their head.